Felice Compleanno in Ritardo, Stronzo
by Doitsu-Romano
Summary: In which Romano joins the bandwagon and writes a letter for Germany, twelve days too late. Title's supposed to translate to "Happy Late Birthday, Bastard", sorry if it's incorrect. One-sided GerMano.


Sure, he felt it to be a bit embarrassing to be doing this, but he wasted hours just mustering up the effort to even bother to come. Hesitantly, he stood in front of the door of the house it was to be delivered to. He figured it would be a better idea to hand-deliver it, not trusting mail services to get it there soon enough, though he had already been days behind. He gripped tightly onto the unusually thick envelope, knocking on the door, waiting impatiently so he could just leave. The envelope had been stuffed with a decent amount of paper with the writings of a certain Italian scrabbled onto them. This is what they read

* * *

So, mio fratello keeps bothering me, saying that I should wish you a happy birthday or whatever since I'm always so "mean" to you. So, yeah...Buon Compleanno, potato stronzo, though it's been around ten days since the actual date of it.

That's all I have to say. I don't really care, I just did this to get Veneziano to leave me alone. Really. It's not like I wanted to write this or anything. I just figured, you know, why not? If it would give me some peace, might as well do it. Not like I have anything to do with my life. Might as well be nice to someone for once. Yeah, that sounds good, doesn't it?

Fuck, this is a terrible coverup. I really should have thought about that a bit more. My lies have gone down in quality recently. Yeah, about that, Veneziano didn't force me to do this, I did this on my own. Surprised? Well, you should be. I wasn't planning to do this, yet I felt like I had to. I even managed to remember the date, though I kept putting it off until now. That's so strange of me, I know, I can't understand it either.

I really have no clue why I'm doing this. Nothing else to do. I guess I just felt like doing something that a decent person would do, to raise my self-esteem. Yeah, definitely, that's why. Blah blah, comment about you getting old, even though I'm way older than you, followed with some insults revolving around the word potato, etcetera. Yeah, saving you the time from reading all of it.

Besides, you're probably too busy to read this anyways. Probably working instead. Not that I care, you know, it's not like I want to spend time with you or anything. I much rather spend more of my life alone, as usual. I'm used to this anyways. Oh well. At least Vene has a social life. Thanks for sticking around with him, though it's exceedingly frustrating how much time you two spend together.

I'll openly admit it. I'm jealous of all the attention you give Veneziano. It's just not fair that he always has someone there to do anything with, even if it's to talk about something completely stupid and pointless. I'm always stuck by myself. But forget this, this was supposed to be about you, right? Besides, like I already said, I'm used to it, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Back to this Compleanno shit, you probably had a decent one, right?Although it would be more...like me, I guess, to hope that it was a shit day and to go fuck yourself, but no, I chose to be a decent person and not do that.

Fuck...I really can't think of much...this is really short right now...Just going to go on about random shit until I think of something. Remember that stupid mustache thing? Well, I do. Still embarrassed about that. Along with a lot of things, but I'm going to move on now. It's not like it matters anyways, you probably forgot all about it.

You really shouldn't expect this from me again. Ever. I won't even bother next year. Most likely. Maybe once or twice more, maybe. Hm...what else...? Um, I don't have anything else to say. Might as well get this over with. I did this because...um...Ti amo, bastardo.

There, I said—er, wrote it, ti amo. Dunno why, but I do. I can't stand the fact that I managed to actually fall in love with you of all people, yet I somehow did anyways.

Maybe it's because of...hm...your sincerity? Or maybe it's just the fact that...I really don't understand, I really want to explain it. I just can't find the words to do so. I picked a great time to do this, huh? Probably ruined your day.

I'm going to stop before I waste anymore of your time than I've already wasted. I'm done blathering on about stupid pointless shit.

If you didn't feel like reading any of this shit, just read this one line here: Ti amo potato stronzo. Yeah...

-Italy Romano/Lovino Vargas


End file.
